tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77632507320649698882024-02-08T13:49:42.751-05:00woodland creaturea virtual junk draweralyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.comBlogger156125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-11119387255180792492008-05-23T11:37:00.002-04:002008-05-23T11:38:14.761-04:00I'll Tumbl for YaI'm trying out <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>, so check out <a href="http://woodlandcreature.tumblr.com/">Woodland Creature</a> over there for now.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-11863721623007778282008-04-08T13:32:00.003-04:002008-12-08T18:36:14.966-05:00My New Favorite Name<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R_utCEmFvpI/AAAAAAAAAc8/Xakwu9r4FDE/s320/mikepeed.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5186929646952103570" border="1" />My new favorite unfortunate name belongs to <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">New York Times</span></a> reporter <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/06/nyregion/thecity/06bike.html">Mike Peed</a>. I think <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle">Dick Trickle</a> might still be my true No. 1, though.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-26612464489263029172008-04-01T14:05:00.003-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.118-05:00Ugly Shoes Can Be Hazardous to Your Health<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R_J7u0mFvoI/AAAAAAAAAc0/MZ07IpWoeSw/s320/ugghazard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184342165379464834" border="1" />I would just like to point out that only the ugliest footwear seems to kill (or seriously injure) people. First <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Consumer/story?id=2530368">Crocs</a>, now <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article975879.ece">Uggs</a>. It's just a lose-lose situation for everyone.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://jezebel.com/374164/ugh">Jezebel</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-76997459374661467702008-03-31T21:36:00.007-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.401-05:00Brooke Hogan Doesn't Deserve Her<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R_Ga1UmFvnI/AAAAAAAAAcs/qvKZnZXp2B0/s320/hulkmom.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184094886932364914" border="1" /><a href="http://jezebel.com/370947/hulk-hogans-mother-is-awesome">Hulk Hogan's mother</a> is the new front-runner for <a href="http://woodland-creature.blogspot.com/2008/02/judge-judy-please-adopt-me.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">Who Wants to Be My Adoptive Grandma?</span></a> She's pretty much perfect in every way. I would take her to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hooters">Hooters</a> and help her buy <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depends">Depends</a> any day.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-24475696860275229102008-03-29T22:40:00.005-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.558-05:00YOU CRACK ME UP SARAH MARSHALL<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; width: 154px; height: 145px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R-7_80mFvmI/AAAAAAAAAck/ZgX1eyexZsk/s320/sarahmarshall.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183361641525657186" border="1" />The littlest things make my day in New York City. Anyone who lives in New York has probably seen those annoying "Sarah Marshall" ads for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgetting_Sarah_Marshall">this movie</a> all over the city. They're just big white spaces with handwritten messages like "YOU SUCK SARAH MARSHALL" and "MY MOM NEVER LIKED YOU SARAH MARSHALL." The <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Daily News</span></a> even <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/2008/03/29/2008-03-29_movie_ads_target_real_sarah_marshalls.html">interviewed</a> some real-life Sarah Marshalls to see if their psyches were damaged by this advertising campaign. When I was walking in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Village%2C_Manhattan">East Village</a> today, I saw that some <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchorman:_The_Legend_of_Ron_Burgundy"><span style="font-style: italic;">Anchorman</span></a> fan had created a custom Sarah Marshall ad on a piece of posterboard that read, "YOU'VE GOT A DIRTY WHORISH MOUTH SARAH MARSHALL," and posted it up next to the real ads. I literally started cracking up in the street like a crazy person. Hilarious.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-21594834851313953632008-03-22T16:29:00.002-04:002008-03-22T16:34:43.211-04:00This Is For My Peeps<object height="335" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5NvFXJESMZY&border=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5NvFXJESMZY&border=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="335" width="400"></embed></object><br />Yeah, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peeps">Peeps</a> taste disgusting, but they're just so damn cute. And everyone knows there's no better way to celebrate the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter">resurrection of Jesus</a> than to...watch some Peeps <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NvFXJESMZY">reenact</a> the movie <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_space"><span style="font-style: italic;">Office Space</span></a>?<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://jezebel.com/370801/peep-shows">Jezebel</a>, via <a href="http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/03/21/5-most-disturbing-peep-videos.aspx">Babble</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-1863284694779565902008-03-19T19:21:00.005-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.745-05:00My Hero<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R-GhBUmFvlI/AAAAAAAAAcc/K3JZsUfcljA/s320/gitrdun.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179598090533191250" border="1" /><a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0318083forehead1.html">This man</a> has "Git-R-Dun" tattooed on his forehead and "Got-R-Did" on the back of his head. I wonder how <a href="http://www.larrythecableguy.com/">Larry the Cable Guy</a> feels about such a display of devotion. I also wonder what the hell "Git-R-Dun" actually means, because I have never been able to figure it out.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/19/father-and-son-sport.html">Boing Boing</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-52373644602291793692008-03-17T21:14:00.003-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.825-05:00Mary Ann Smokes Mary Jane?<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R98aOXnvtUI/AAAAAAAAAcU/gNGO5XFh0vc/s320/maryann.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5178886930660570434" border="1" /><a href="http://www.dawn-wells.com/">Mary Ann</a> from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilligan%27s_Island"><span style="font-style: italic;">Gilligan's Island</span></a> was <a href="http://www.nypost.com/seven/03162008/news/nationalnews/girl_scouts_fire_mary_ann_102218.htm">supposed to speak</a> at a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl_scouts_of_america">Girl Scout</a> luncheon, but her speech was canceled because of her recent arrest for pot possession. She's still smokin' the ganja at age 69. I knew they must have been doing <span style="font-style: italic;">something</span> to beat the boredom on that island...alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-6504776298082592962008-03-11T17:46:00.008-04:002008-12-08T18:36:15.994-05:00The Classiest Tombstone Evarrr<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R9cELHnvtTI/AAAAAAAAAcM/wEATbE_nC68/s320/tombstone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5176610885756499250" border="1" />Courtesy of the great country of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ukraine">Ukraine</a>. There are so many things to love about this tombstone:<br /><ul><li>The fact that there is a life-sized engraving of the deceased on it</li><li>The exposed black bra strap</li><li>The free advertising for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Dior_SA">Dior</a></li><li>The fact that the engraver took no artistic liberties, and didn't even minimize the poor girl's little exposed potbelly</li></ul>And there are plenty <a href="http://englishrussia.com/?p=1782#more-1782">more amazing Ukrainian tombstones</a> where that came from! (These people <span style="font-style: italic;">reallllly</span> love their <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz">Mercedeses</a>.) When I kick the bucket, I think I would like to be remembered in a similar fashion. Wearing a wifebeater, with my pudge hanging out.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/11/illustrated-tombston.html">Boing Boing</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-25368693795967152982008-03-09T16:53:00.005-04:002008-12-08T18:36:16.206-05:00Local News Is the Best<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; width: 144px; height: 168px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R9RRMHnvtSI/AAAAAAAAAcE/7QoaQ2P-vu0/s320/dude.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175851140401575202" border="1" />Yet another example of why I love the local news: <a href="http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/5961006.html">this story</a>, out of Oconomowoc (bet you've never seen five O's in one word before!), Wisc. The following elements combine to create a perfect storm of amazingness:<br /><ul><li>An exceptionally loud porn movie</li><li>A crazy neighbor</li><li>The kicking-down of a front door</li><li>A 3-foot-long military sword</li></ul>Watch <a href="http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=58914">the video</a> if you feel like giggling. I think the funniest part is the fact that the porn-watcher isn't even embarrassed at all about his habit, and is happy to do a TV interview about it while chillin' in his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La-Z-Boy">La-Z-Boy</a>. I love when the reporter asks him if he'll think twice about watching porn next time. His answer is priceless.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://jezebel.com/365281/porn-ultimatums">Jezebel</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-80485989336718332812008-03-09T16:44:00.004-04:002008-12-08T18:36:16.294-05:00Airborne as Placebo: I'm Down with That<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R9RNpHnvtRI/AAAAAAAAAb8/6q3GPj3Szlo/s400/airborne.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175847240571270418" border="1" />So apparently <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airborne_%28dietary_supplement%29">Airborne</a> is a <a href="http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/03/04/makers-of-airborne-settle-false-ad-suit-with-refunds/?hp">sham</a>. I use that stuff all the time, and I swear to God it works! If I feel myself starting to get sick, I drink that disgusting magic potion every day until the symptoms are gone. I don't care if it's the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placebo_effect">placebo effect</a> or what -- I will still keep using it, 'cause it works for me. It's way better than getting <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_bronchitis">bronchitis</a> and/or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pneumonia">pneumonia</a>, which I tend to do at least once a year.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{image via <a href="http://someecards.com/upload/get_well/i_m_not_sure_airborne_will_solve_all_your_problems.html">Someecards</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-46192451157368976252008-03-09T14:14:00.004-04:002008-03-09T14:28:58.368-04:00Why So Angry, Mac?<object height="335" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/y2D_mhqDRBY"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/y2D_mhqDRBY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="335" width="400"></embed></object><br />In <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=y2D_mhqDRBY">this</a> video clip, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCain">John McCain</a> kind of reminds me of an asshole high school hall monitor who is on a power trip and just caught you sneaking off campus and decides to berate you like you're a 5-year-old trying to steal a cookie out of the cookie jar. Except he's a presidential candidate. And <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Bumiller">Elisabeth Bumiller</a> is a <a href="http://nytimes.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">New York Times</span></a> reporter who asked a perfectly respectful and legitimate question. Her last question cracks me up. It's probably what I would've said, too. Dude needs to <span style="font-style: italic;">chiiill</span>.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://gawker.com/365360/introducing-angry-mccain">Gawker</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-73957297360866458652008-03-05T21:00:00.003-05:002008-03-05T21:09:08.912-05:00The 21 Faces of Amy<object height="335" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3UgpfSp2t6k"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3UgpfSp2t6k" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="335" width="400"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UgpfSp2t6k">This YouTube lady</a> freaks me the hell out. I know she is just trying to show off her linguistic skills, but it is like watching a crazy person who has a severe case of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_personality_disorder">multiple personality disorder</a>, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheshire_Cat">Cheshire cat</a> smile and 400 teeth. It's especially frightening when she forgets how old she is. Also, which one of these is her <span style="font-style: italic;">real</span> accent? (If you have an unnatural obsession with people's accents like I do, you should check out <a href="http://accent.gmu.edu/">this site</a>. It's really cool.)alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-49617639781169587322008-03-04T19:21:00.005-05:002008-03-04T19:26:52.524-05:00The Food That Lasts Forever<center><object height="335" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4IGtDPG4UfI"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4IGtDPG4UfI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="335" width="400"></embed></object></center><br />Anyone who has seen <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Size_Me"><span style="font-style: italic;">Super Size Me</span></a> has already been enlightened about the magical preservational properties of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McDonald%27s">McDonald's</a> food, but <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=4IGtDPG4UfI">here</a>'s even more proof that shit is otherworldly. After four years of being carried around in a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spongebob">SpongeBob SquarePants</a> lunchbox, this lady's McDonald's cheeseburger has <span style="font-style: italic;">no</span> mold or mildew on it. Methinks those would make some effective shower tiles.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-10096499826891749182008-03-04T18:44:00.004-05:002008-12-08T18:36:16.483-05:00Battle of the Celebabies<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R83gGDDk4xI/AAAAAAAAAbI/bOew8p9nPEY/s400/christinanicole.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5174037941422711570" border="1" />There is one simple reason for why <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicole_Richie">Nicole Richie</a>'s <a href="http://www.people.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">People</span></a> magazine cover <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23454644/">sold more copies</a> than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christina_aguilera">Christina Aguilera</a>'s: Nicole's baby is way cuter! Christina's baby Max looks sort of like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Linus">Ben from <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost</span></a>, but Nicole's daughter Harlow is just a little schmoopie-poo. Don't tell me you don't want to kidnap that little munchkin! That said, I'm kind of disturbed by the fact that celebrity baby photo pimping has become a competition in the first place.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-47766026344792421772008-03-02T22:03:00.007-05:002008-12-08T18:36:16.758-05:00Trash Is Right...<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8tqzrBRCOI/AAAAAAAAAa4/9g4Ud8Eq51E/s320/woodstockshirt.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5173346032919054562" border="1" />Anyone who buys <a href="http://store.delias.com/item.do?categoryID=463&itemID=49680&sizeFilter=&colorFilter=&brandFilter=">this T-shirt</a> should be shot by the Grammar Police. Dude, how did that get past the T-shirt proofreaders, whoever they are? That is some <a href="http://engrish.com/category_index.php?category=Clothing">Engrish</a> shit right there...alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-25978996651722007852008-02-28T20:24:00.004-05:002008-12-08T18:36:17.181-05:00Some Advice for Janice Dickinson<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8dfShpAG8I/AAAAAAAAAao/JZQlhehwmeE/s200/janice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5172207468930931650" border="1" />If you were too old to ever watch <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraggle_Rock"><span style="font-style: italic;">Fraggle Rock</span></a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janice_Dickinson">she</a> was 28 when it first aired), you probably shouldn't be wearing a T-shirt of it. Just a thought.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://jezebel.com/362001/janice-dickinson-rocks-it-fraggle-style">Jezebel</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-29585594413925844762008-02-27T21:53:00.002-05:002008-12-08T18:36:17.379-05:00Barack Obama Is My New Bicycle?<img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8t1dLBRCPI/AAAAAAAAAbA/nMXv_OUktco/s320/barackbicycle.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5173357740999903474" border="1" />I don't really understand <a href="http://www.barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">BarackObamaIsYourNewBicycle.com</span></a>, but it makes me laugh.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-85634152385594018652008-02-26T17:53:00.007-05:002008-12-08T18:36:18.778-05:00Heidi Klum's Daughter Is Awesome<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; width: 114px; height: 206px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8SZLhpAG7I/AAAAAAAAAaQ/kCQGEqICjHc/s320/leni.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171426695416126386" border="1" />If I didn't have to, um, be a functioning adult, I would totally dress like this every day. Little Leni <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidi_Klum">Klum</a> has got it going on. Look at her tiny matching lunchbox/purse slung over her shoulder! Adorbs.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{via <a href="http://jezebel.com/360778/heidi-klums-daughters-age+appropriate-post+oscar-outfit">Jezebel</a>}</span>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-84526547305954768742008-02-25T20:03:00.004-05:002008-12-08T18:36:18.921-05:00Dear Crackheads, Get Out of My Starbucks<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8NqtBpAG6I/AAAAAAAAAaI/_NX4w3fSq4Q/s320/sbux.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5171094118918527906" border="1" />The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astor_Place_%28Manhattan%29">Astor Place</a> <a href="http://www.starbucks.com/">Starbucks</a> is the worst Starbucks in the world. And not because you can actually see <span style="font-style: italic;">another</span> Starbucks while you're standing inside the Astor Place one. No, because it is overrun by crazies. It is impossible to find a table there no matter what time you go, because it is basically the neighborhood crackhead clubhouse. Seriously, they camp out there all day. Especially the old lady with the ridiculous makeup who sits at the corner table reapplying her hot pink blush all over her face 10 times a day. I swear she never leaves. And homeless people don't really bother me, except when they are hogging every single table in the Astor Place Starbucks when all I want to do is sit down for five minutes so I can scarf down my goddamn overpriced slice of Banana Nut Loaf.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-91870274167009848332008-02-24T21:13:00.004-05:002008-12-08T18:36:19.177-05:00Some Kind of...What?<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8JKdxpAG5I/AAAAAAAAAaA/M8kGJtEm5yg/s320/wonderful.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5170777197576723346" border="1" />I just watched <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Some_Kind_of_Wonderful_%28film%29"><span style="font-style: italic;">Some Kind of Wonderful</span></a>, because pretty much everything involving <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hughes_%28film_director%29">John Hughes</a> is amazing. However, I was very disturbed by the choice of title. I wrongly assumed that this film would feature the song "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Some_Kind_of_Wonderful">Some Kind of Wonderful</a>," or maybe one of the characters would say the phrase at some point. But noOo. It's like someone just slapped a random title onto this movie because they couldn't think of anything. WTF, Hughes? Being ever so helpful, I came up with a few ideas for titles that are much more accurate:<br /><br /><ul><li style="font-style: italic;">Just Like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_in_pink">Pretty in Pink</a>, But with the Genders Reversed and a Different Ending</li><li style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Stoltz">Eric Stoltz</a> Is Kind of Hot, but Also Sometimes <a href="http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/">Looks Like a Middle-Aged Lesbian</a></li><li style="font-style: italic;">That's Not a 10-Year-Old Boy, It's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Stuart_Masterson">Mary Stuart Masterson</a><br /></li><li style="font-style: italic;">Why Do You Carry Those Damn Drumsticks Everywhere?</li></ul>alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-57614111963286471742008-02-24T15:42:00.007-05:002008-12-08T18:36:19.299-05:00Reality Shows: Enough, Already<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R8HYrhpAG2I/AAAAAAAAAZo/SAx56UsTrBo/s200/dad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5170652089474358114" border="1" />The fact that there's a new <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_show">reality show</a> called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Dad_Is_Better_Than_Your_Dad"><span style="font-style: italic;">My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad</span></a> is proof that producers have finally run out of ideas, and are now visiting elementary school playgrounds for inspiration. Next season, look out for <span style="font-style: italic;">Playing <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_square">Four-Square</a> with the Stars</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">America's Next Top <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetherball">Tetherball</a> Champion</span>.<br />(P.S. My dad really is better. No, for real.)alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-5218018944410414282008-02-23T12:20:00.008-05:002008-02-24T15:56:43.157-05:00Send Back 2 Me & 8 Other Friends or U Will Die!Hahaha, <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/e_mail_from_aunt_accidentally">this</a> <a href="http://www.theonion.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Onion</span></a> article reminds me of when my mom sends me e-mails containing chain letters, egregiously incorrect rumors, animated .GIFs, "funny" photos of little kids or animals, or jokes that I already saw back in 1998, when I first got <a href="http://www.aol.com/">AOL</a>.<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-size:100%;">The moment her computer's hourglass icon finished spinning, Petersen was subjected to a vast compendium of mass-circulated poetry, pet humor, and inspirational aphorisms with vague underlying religious motivations. Without needing to scroll down, Petersen further noted that the e-mail featured a background wallpaper of cartoon ducks, as well as numerous typographical errors and a large banner spelling out "You got 2 love this!" in a rainbow-colored, bouncing font.</span></blockquote><br />Sorry Mom, but it's true.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-30768423192304872202008-02-22T19:18:00.004-05:002008-12-08T18:36:19.461-05:00Meet Me at People with A.I.D.S. Plaza<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R79oLBpAG1I/AAAAAAAAAZg/4hOLpIUYhJY/s200/aidsplaza.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5169965435872877394" border="1" />Apparently there's a place downtown on Park Row between Beekman and Spruce streets called...<a href="http://community.livejournal.com/newyorkers/3746051.html">People with A.I.D.S. Plaza</a>. I know New York City likes to give certain blocks <a href="http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E5DF163CF931A3575BC0A9629C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all">honorary names</a>, but <span style="font-style: italic;">People with A.I.D.S. Plaza</span>? Really? I kind of want to tell someone to meet me there, just to freak them out.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7763250732064969888.post-64086353399707263322008-02-21T19:49:00.005-05:002008-12-08T18:36:19.626-05:00Fur Coats Are Dumb<img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; width: 125px; height: 169px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_W2PgpcAqukY/R74fGhpAG0I/AAAAAAAAAZY/rB74XTivPjI/s200/furcoat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5169603619237927746" border="1" />I went up to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upper_East_Side">Upper East Side</a> today to pick up something for work, and I was amazed by how many <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fur_coat">fur coats</a> I saw. I know, it's the Upper East Side, but really? People still wear those things? I'm not a paint-slinging <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_for_the_Ethical_Treatment_of_Animals">PETA</a> member or anything, but fur just skeeves me out. When I see someone wearing a fur coat, it looks to me like they're trying to dress up like a furry animal, but they forgot to put on the head part of their costume. They might as well just <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysat-igQi44">climb inside a dead camel</a>, like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Grylls">Bear Grylls</a>.alyssahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359041577669409304noreply@blogger.com0