While browsing Target's gift suggestions for men, I was greatly amused by some of their selections. Here are some things I learned about the following male specimens:
The Guys' Guy
- Guys' guys like to play with cat toys
- Guys' guys like to make their own ice cream
- This guys' guy must be single, because no woman would allow this in her home
- Grandpas need to trim their nose and ear hair
- Grandpas should sleep on the floor
- Grandpas are alcoholics who need to drink martinis anytime, anywhere
- Comedy kings are Marxists
- Comedy kings are criminals who enjoy sassing cops
- I can't believe this exists, and costs $150
- "Nifty" is a hilarious word that a hipster would never say (unironically, at least)
- Hipsters are the only men who shave their pubes ("ideal for removing hair from all body zones"!)
- Hipsters like to wear Sean John cologne by hipster extraordinaire P. Diddy
- Hipsters are alcoholics who need their own personal breathalyzers
- "Rachael Ray" and "hipster" should never be in the same sentence. Also, she designs ugly plates
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